As an attorney and strategist, I loved my brain.
I loved what it could do, how it solved problems, created structure, and guided my success. I relied on it for everything. Without realizing it, my identity had become intricately tied to my brain.
That illusion shattered in 2016, when I temporarily lost access to it.
Following a serious concussion, everything changed. I found myself unable to process the world around me, understand what people were saying, and access the strategic thinking that had defined my life.
And in the midst of that imposed silence, a question emerged.
One that would change everything.
If I’m not my brain, then who am I?
My World Changed in an Instant
It happened in a flash. A speeding car collided with mine, crashing into the driver’s side. I lost consciousness on impact. When I came to, nothing felt familiar.
I was diagnosed with post-concussive syndrome, and for weeks afterward, I felt like I was trapped in a fog. My sharpness was gone. My ability to reason, gone. I couldn’t work, process, or make sense of anything. I had no way to mentally navigate the world, and no familiar identity to hold onto.
The sense of loss was profound. I wasn’t just grieving cognitive function. I was grieving me, or who I thought I was.
Until that moment, I had never considered that my sense of self had been built almost entirely around my ability to perform, achieve, and think. Without that, what was left?
A Discovery I Never Saw Coming
In the stillness that followed, something unexpected happened.
With no choice but to surrender, I began noticing parts of myself I had long ignored. I became more aware of my intuition, of my emotional world, and of a quiet voice within that didn’t rely on my intellect at all. I was forced to listen more deeply, to feel more fully, and to open to a different kind of knowing.
This journey was not comfortable.
It was surreal, humbling, and at times terrifying.
But it was also deeply healing.
I began to see that the person I thought I had to be was built on layers I had never questioned. Layers of conditioning, beliefs, fear, and perfectionism. I faced my inner shadows. I worked through them. And over time, I uncovered a version of myself I never knew was there, I was stronger, softer, more whole.
I didn’t just rewire my brain. I reclaimed my truth.
